This Sort of Thing...


Hot Cross Bun Blues



Well I woke up this morning, and I went down to Sainsbury’s

For some hot cross buns, I said to the baker woman “Please!”

With hunger in my eyes, “Gonna get me two packs of these”


So standin' at the check-out, I tried real hard to scan my buns

Yeah, me at the check-out, I tried to scan those bags of crumbs

Didn't recognise no barcode, self check-out’s done gimme the runs


Standin' in the check-out line, waitin‘ to eat those spicy buns

Standin' there a wastin‘ time, waitin‘ ‘til a supervisor comes

Got the blues for other shoppers, saliva’s drippin’ off their tongues


So I ran down to Tesco, to see if there I’d find success

Saw my baby in the car park, Easter bun crumbs all down her dress

She didn’t pay no check-out woman, just took the buns and ran I guess


Well I’ve had the swamp fever, been doggone crazy with malaria

Cursed with the hangover from hell, drinkin’ rakia in Bulgaria

But nothin’ ain’t so bad, as an unexpected item in the baggin’ area


So I took me up to Lidl, they might have had my spicy cake

Yeah, goin’ up to Lidl, oh babe I made a bad mistake

See this was Tuesday mornin’, just an hour before daybreak


“The van don’t come ‘til lunchtime”, that’s what the Lidl bossman said

“The shelf’s completely empty”, but he offered me some stale white bread

If I don’t get no hot cross bun, oh Lord I might as well be dead


I found me a smoky bar down town, barman poured a shot of liquor

Drank the first one down real fast, drank the second even quicker

Then I really couldn’t take no more, ‘cause I’d been spotted by the vicar


He said “hey boy now you’re doin’ real bad, I think your head’s a bit bananas

All you need is flour and milk, an egg, some spice, a few sultanas

The English recipe’s mighty good, much sweeter than Louisiana’s”


The preacher’s words were wise and good, they shone a light into my soul

Across the road and in the shop, run by Mr Brzęczyszczykiewicz the Pole 

These things were all out on display, his sweet woman lent me a bowl


I mixed them up and baked them down, I didn’t have no time to lose

Now my belly’s full I’m satisfied, from my head down to my shoes

And babe I’m gonna sing these words, to Robert Johnson’s Cross Road Blues


Hot Cross Bun Blues

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