Eric was a bus conductor and Eric was a soldier

Eric was shot whilst having a ciggy in Iceland in 1940

Iceland the country, not the shop

Iceland declared neutrality during the Second World War

Britain invaded Iceland so that Germany couldn’t

Britain sent Eric to Iceland to scare away Germany

Eric didn’t like Iceland, it was dark and cold

Eric didn’t like Iceland because Iceland shot him

Iceland didn’t like Eric because Eric was British

Iceland didn’t like Britain, they’d brought them the war

Britain didn’t like Iceland because Iceland shot Eric

Britain left Iceland because it was busy elsewhere

America went to Iceland to scare away Germany

America didn’t like Iceland because of dried fish and crispbread

Germany didn’t invade Iceland, it was dark and cold

Germany didn’t invade Iceland because of dried fish and America

Eric worked the rest of his life on a Bath Corporation bus

Eric never rang the bell to stop the bus outside Iceland

Iceland the shop, not the country

Iceland the shop didn’t sell dried fish or crispbread

Peggy always bought fish fingers for Eric’s tea on Thursdays

Peggy never told Eric they were from Iceland, the shop and the country

Photograph: I haven’t got a single photograph of Iceland (neither the country nor the shop) or of Eric but I do have a selection of photographs of volcanoes which I could pretend were Icelandic. This is one I took from Stromboli’s crater rim late one evening whilst on a walking holiday in the Aeolian Islands near Sicily.